MOM GUILT MONDAY #2
MOM GUILT, MY FRENEMY
MOM GUILT MONDAY #2
Soooo.... out of all the unfinished blog drafts sitting in my bin covering various topics, half of them fit under the category "Mom Guilt". Yeah.
My relationship with Mom Guilt is prickly and complicated. Some days, it is a dear friend dishing out some tough love and on other days it is an enemy ready to pounce. If I allow it to, Mom Guilt will set up camp in my thoughts and defeat me daily, sabotaging the good work I am trying to do. On the other hand, it can also convict me and spur me to make real changes for the better. I experience both types of guilt quite regularly. I welcome it because the flip side of the guilt coin is shiny with resolve and hope, and 'hope' leads to positivity, growth, greater focus, and action in the right direction. The tricky part is knowing when and how to swing that mighty mom guilt hammer to help build up a better MomMe, instead of to tear myself down.
For better or for worse, in my tired mommy brain, all of my mommy transgressions (of which there are m-a-n-y) are tabbed under each child's name, catalogued by subject, archived by year, and notarized by a Certified Mom Guilt Notary Public (aka my mother). My Mom Guilt is vast, expansive and comprehensive in scope. And much like a persistent tic, any number of my past Mom Guilt infractions will creep up on me when I am otherwise having a winning day, to ruinous consequences.
Mom Guilt has a way of distorting my good judgment and turning a perfectly reasonable and harmless activity such as making a solo run to Starbucks into an exercise in mom anxiety as I try to tear myself away from my crying baby and kids who beg to go with me or ask me to stay home. Sometimes I ease my guilt by bringing home treats or skip the Starbucks run altogether.
You may be nodding your head, knowingly, as you read this post. I have read articles written by moms who declare freedom from mom guilt and wonder how they do it. I think it helps to have a good friend, therapist, or parenting blog who can put a fresh and healthy perspective on things. We all need to get out of our own heads sometimes, especially if we're harboring negative thoughts. Mom Guilt Monday posts are my way of working through some of the guilt and to reflect on the significance or silliness of some of the stuff I feel guilty about as a mom.
How are you, today? Is your Mom Guilt being a friend nudging you in the right direction or is Mom Guilt being a mean girl getting all up in your grill, trying to tear you down? A good way to tell the difference: If the guilt makes you hang your head, crank at your family, and drive you to throw your hands up in defeat, it's not your friend. If the guilt drives you to think up a solution or action plan to solve or erase whatever's troubling you, then that's the good kind. Use that one to better yourself and share some tips with this mama through the comments below! Have an awesome guilt-free day, mama!