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9 SIGNS YOU'RE A GOOD MOM

3/3/2018

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9 SIGNS YOU'RE A GOOD MOM

1. You pee in installments. Moms with little ones know what I’m talking about. You have a distressed, crying baby on the other side of the bathroom door, wondering what you could possibly be doing in there that could be so urgent that you would put her down for a NY minute. Who are we kidding, that door is WIDE open…
2. You keep your language G-rated. I generally don’t curse but as an adult with plenty of stressors, sometimes things get a little overwhelming. In those moments, I sometimes find myself close to bursting a blood vessel trying keep my language Disney-friendly and my tone downright lady-like. But in the peace and quiet that comes after the kids are in bed, I am glad that I kept my temper cool and my words warm.
3. You lie to your kids. Sometimes I lie to spare their feelings. When I saw that my 5-year old daughter had chopped off a chunk of her bangs right down to her scalp, I wanted to grab my face and scream like the boy in the Home Alone movies. She had a shaky look on her sweet face when she asked me how she looked. Internally, there was great wailing and gnashing of teeth as I grieved the loss of her sweet blond locks and I had to adjust quickly to the drastic change in her appearance. I quickly smiled as I hugged her and said, "you look beautiful, as always. Are you trying out a new look?" We both laughed. She was relieved and
excited but confessed that she probably wouldn't do that again. I wasn't lying with what I said because she truly was beautiful, as always - I wasn't lying about that. However, my reaction of calm and lightheartedness was my white lie to spare her feelings and so as not to scare her. Another reason I may lie is to make a dull activity seem more magical. We were walking through a nature trail dense with trees and although it was peaceful, it wasn't terribly interesting. So when my son asked me why there were so many felled trees and downed branches, I told him that they
were knocked down by giant dragons that stomped through the forest at night. Suddenly, my kids now had a fantastic interest in what just a moment ago was nothing but trees and a dirt path. Now, it was the home of "dragons" and they were in search of lairs and possible dragon sightings and they began telling tales about mythical dragon clans. Another reason I may lie to them is to protect them from a scary situation and reassure them. Sometimes, a little white lie is kinder than the truth and oftentimes, more interesting.
4. You wear a bra all the time, even when you’re at home. On the off chance that my kids’ friends or a neighbor may drop by, I try my best to look 'presentable' and ready for casual company. My everyday dress code includes a bra, lip gloss, some well-fitting denim and a comfy mom sweater because no matter how warm the weather, I am always cold. 
5. You put your phone away. My iPhone is a dark wizard that has the ability to keep me from having productive and connected days with my family. My kids have to share my attention with their 
siblings, dad, chores, work, and countless activities. So, I try to limit how much of me they have to share with my phone.
​
6. You’re nice to their dad. Marriages are complicated and things can get messy between mommies and daddies. Before kids, my scotsman and I could see a fight through from beginning to end without interruptions. It was beautiful. After kids, it’s like trying to eat a Hotpocket over the course of days… it starts out scalding hot and super salty but by the time you whisper, text, and hiss your retorts back and forth so as not to alarm the kids, it assumes an unappealing taste and crustiness so you just want to toss it and move on to better things. In the midst of it all, you stay civil and protect your kids' affection for their dad and you don't do or say things about him that would hurt them.
7. Your kids get angry at you. You make the hard parenting choices and do right by them even when you know they’re probably gonna hate you for a while. Sometimes, 'no' is the most loving answer, even if it's not the most popular one.
8. Your diaper bag shows your hustle. When my surprisingly fertile womb opened for business with my first baby, one of my very first purchases was a diaper bag. Since then, I have tried out every style of bag and no two looked alike but they ALL had one thing in common: evidence of my mom hustle. Within what seemed like minutes out of the shopping bag, my new bag would resemble the interior of my van after a long road trip - Goldfish crumbs and petrified fruit snacks covered in lint carpeted the bottom. A suspicious "wet patch" lived permanently in a dark corner and the extra set of clothes 
that I carefully packed and then totally forgot about no longer fit my chubby little bean. Shiny splatters of dry milk and planner pen marks graffitied the inner lining. And an embarrassingly large clump of wrinkled flyers, forms, and construction paper crafts constantly threatened to leap out of my bag and attack a neater, more organized mom every time I reached in for something truly important, like my gloss (hottie moms know what's up!) 
Like all good mommies, I always brought along snacks, sometimes meals, and water everywhere for my small, homegrown football 
team. I also carried around a small army of planner pens that clattered around in my bag like loose teeth, to constantly update my planners, and to fill out countless doctor, camp, church, and co-op forms. I collected every craft and glitter project and stuffed them quickly in my bag, in no particular order, so that I could give my kids my undivided attention when I picked them up. And yes, sometimes my loose powder would explode in my stuffed bag. And as a baby rite of passage, each of my kids would inevitably discover my blood red lipstick and very lovingly and carefully open the tube to examine it and then just as carefully return it back into the bag WITHOUT THE CAP.
The thing is, my bags are kinda mess, sorta cluttered and look lived in and I couldn't be prouder of me and my bags because they reflect how hard I hustle every day for my kids. Sometimes, I even remember to put a couple of diapers in there...
9.  You think you're a bad mom.  Thinking you're bad mom is a sign that you're probably a good one.  We all suffer from degrees of mom guilt and that is an indicator that we recognize things that we'd  like to change or improve about ourselves to be better moms - that's the sign of a  good mom.  
"There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." -Jill Churchill
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    ​I'm Yu Na (aka KpopMom).  I am a Korean  mom running the motherhood marathon, thanks to my 6 wild ninjas and 1 steady scotsman.

    ​Stick around for tips and ideas on how I do large family living.

    ​
    Stay a while and take a tour.  I'm so glad you stopped by!

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