10 PARENTING FACTS THAT MAKE YOU GO, HMMM...
1. I crave time for myself but feel guilty when I get it.
2. If newborns sleep up to 16 hours a day, why am I so tired?
3. I am home all day and don't have a job but somedays I can't negotiate a five minute shower.
4. I clean and tidy constantly but my house still looks like main street after the Super Bowl parade.
5. I am bigger, better educated, and make more money. Baby can't feed or change himself, let alone hold down a job, but he is clearly The Boss.
6. Baby barely weighed 8 pounds at birth so how did I gain 60?...
7. My mom as a parent: stern, cheap, and all about consequences. This same woman as a grandma: a big wet noodle with infinite cash to burn on her grandkids.
8. When vacationing, all of my belongings fit in a backpack. Baby's? I have to hitch a trailer to drag B's everything anywhere (car seat, stroller, playpen, diapers, breastpump, accessories, toys, books, stuffy, blanket, ointments, wipes, snacks, sunglasses, his beloved oversized plastic Sesame Street car keys, and an extra everything...)
9. Why do my toddler's tiny shoes cost as much as much as my much bigger shoes?
10. Babies are simple. Parenthood is not.
*I think I'll take that shower now...